Welcome to the State of the Earth — A source for cosmonauts, subterranean mole people, and everyone in between. Each *indeterminate amount of time* the State of the Earth Address will present perspectives on the issues of the day, news from around the globe, and tips on how to be less of a goose (just in case anyone needs those).
GUIDE TO VOTING IN AUSTRALIA
There’s a lot to get distracted by during an election campaign, so MR. KOYA has distilled the basics down for you:
- Don’t f*** it up.
- Read up on the political parties beforehand. You’ll be surprised to learn that often a party named something like, “Rose Petal Baths For All” actually has a platform of shooting puppies out of cannons every full moon.
- If a candidate’s platform aligns with that of Hoggish Greedly from Captain Planet, best direct your preferences elsewhere.
- Vote early. This one isn’t even a joke – there’s no queueing. Highly recommended.
- Did we say “Don’t f*** it up” already?
IN THE WILD