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Sweet Magnolias or Russian Daisies?

  • 2 min read

Welcome to the State of the Earth — A source for cosmonauts, subterranean mole people, and everyone in between. Each *indeterminate amount of time* the State of the Earth Address will present perspectives on the issues of the day, news from around the globe, and tips on how to be less of a goose (just in case anyone needs those).



We looked on in horror last week as a dangerous, paranoid maniac unleashed violence upon their neighbours in an attempt to make their pathetic delusions of global power a reality. And that was only the first episode of Sweet Magnolias.

During a year in which the world did not need any more bullshit, Vladimir Putin also decided to invade Ukraine, offering up the following threat: "To anyone who would consider interfering from the outside: if you do, you will face consequences greater than any you have faced in history". Most pundits assumed this meant that Vlad would trundle out some Soviet-era nukes and press the big red button, but is it possible the stony-faced psycho meant something else?
  • A live broadcast of a reading of The Brothers Karamazov, with no note taking allowed
  • A Street Fighter 2 duel on SNES (Zangief vs Guile), and Vladimir has the good controller
  • Enforced watching of Vladimir’s dissertation on Rambo III, titled, “Why It’s The Worst One”

Jokes aside, MR. KOYA’s thoughts are with the brave people of Ukraine this week. Slava Ukraini!


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