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Meet the FAQ Master 3000

Meet the FAQ Master 3000

At MR. KOYA, we depend on the FAQ Master 3000 to deliver our high levels of quality service, attention to detail, and customer care.

He’s all about you folks, just look at him:

At MR. KOYA, we depend on the FAQ Master 3000 to deliver our high levels of quality service, attention to detail, and customer care.

He’s all about you folks, just look at him:

Delivery and returns

Once we receive your order, our trained warehouse goats waste no time in getting your shit together. They’ll aim to have your shirt in the mail within three days. From there, our free shipping should take between 2 and 5 days to reach you.

Due to Australia’s efficient network of mail goats, shipping is completely free to addresses in Oz. There’ll be a small charge if you
live overseas, as saltwater-resistant mail goats are required.

Chances are, your shirt is just going through a phase. Contact us and we’ll track it down for you.

Of course. We offer free returns within 14 days, so just send the item back to us without your gunk all over it, and we’ll organise a store
credit or full refund. It’s super simple.

Like neglected cavoodle puppies, we crave human interaction. Whether you’re checking on an order, curious about sizing, or just feel like shooting the shit, we’re always up for a chat. You can shoot us an email at or you can leave us a message on the contact page and we'll get back to you asap. 


We accept Paypal and Credit Card, including VISA & MasterCard.
Credit card payments are processed via Shopify and have the highest
standard of data encryption and PCI compliance.

Born in Australia. Orders are charged in Australian Dollars. Check out Bloomberg – if you’re buying in US Dollars you could be entitled to some sweet sweet arbitrage #notarbitrage.

While Australia does experience a lot of Free Trade love, unfortunately
some countries do impose import duties on their citizens when buying
from overseas - case in point - the UK with it's 20% VAT on overseas
purchases. So best to triple check your country's import rules before
you buy. #balls

Your financial details are passed through a secure server using the
latest 128-bit SSL (secure sockets layer) encryption technology. 128-bit SSL encryption is the current industry standard.

Shirt love

Yes, good guess.

Rest assured that the only children we exploit are our own, and that’s
because they’re naturals at making margaritas and playing golf.

Make sure you read the care instruction label on each garment. For best results, we recommend hand washing or gentle machine washing in lukewarm water and hanging to air dry. Wash with similar colours and avoid bleaches, and always cook your chicken until it’s lightly browned.


It’s probably some kind of fungus. No, really.

While we wait for our leaders to enact meaningful, forward-thinking
legislation, we suggest you wear whichever MR KOYA shirt conceals you best from predators.

Frogs are a diverse and largely carnivorous group of short-bodied,
tailless amphibians, with a body plan generally characterized by a stout body, protruding eyes, cleft tongue, limbs folded underneath, and the absence of a tail in adults.

Gimps need just as much love and affection as a dog or cat. Let him out of the gimp box, take him to the park, and throw a Frisbee around from time to time. Gimps also respond positively to regular feeding and fresh water.